There was some loony fucking scumfuck chalver dickheed ootside wor flat last neet shouting and swearing his heed off and being abusive to some stupid fucking bint who no doubt is the spunktrench that he unloads his tattie watter into when he isn't tugging his worm onto his own belly hisself and that... anyways - I owpened the window and told the fucker to fuck off (and added a few other choice morsels as well) whereupon the daft twat started threatening me and getting all pissy like chalvers do and that - telling me he was going to kick our door down and shit like that - and doing that daft sort of walk thing they do when they walk like that prick out of Oasis - or Kevin the teenager's friend -- anyway -- I then gave him some more choice morsels to chew on and called the filth. The wifey on the phone asked me where he was -- i told her "ootside wor hoose" and she says "we are a bit busy at the moment - it will be about 45 minutes 'till someone can get there".
Useless, useless fucking shit and bastards.
Doomed - we are all doomed.
Comments (8)
You haven't drunkenly confused your life with an innovative Channel 4 sitcom, have you?
Posted by Gregg | May 4, 2008 6:40 AM
Mate, you sound like a politer version of me whenever the lad down the road decides to row with his g/f to the backdrop of the latest bangin' choonz that he's pumping out of his Ford Capri.
Posted by Sadie | May 4, 2008 10:45 AM
Mail order, man!
Posted by Robert G. | May 4, 2008 4:19 PM
What innovative Channel 4 sitcom do you refer to Gregg? I honestly have no idea.
Posted by Will | May 4, 2008 11:42 PM
That's not mail order - this is mail order*.
* should be banned
Posted by hakmao | May 5, 2008 12:40 AM
I'll take two dozen of the Russkie shit and a half dozen of the Yankee shite.
thank you very much sir. A pleasure to do business with you sir.
watch out chalver scum! I am now tooled up you fuckers!
Posted by Will | May 5, 2008 1:21 AM
My old Da found two guys in their late teens hiding in his back garden on Saturday night. I usually doff my hat to him for loyalty to the place he was born and brought up in, but sometimes I wish he would live somewhere with a lower lumpen ration. He's getting on a bit! (he chased them)
The junkie next door to them had a psychotic episode about a year ago and put a hammer through their front door in the middle of the night, but of course doesn't remember anything about it, so it's hard to have a grudge.
Posted by Uncle Joe | May 6, 2008 8:35 PM
By the way -go see your MSP about the police response time.
Posted by Uncle Joe | May 6, 2008 8:36 PM